After Death

When a loved one passes away, the sheer volume of administrative tasks can feel impossible to manage. Right when the unprocessable happens, you are suddenly tasked with becoming an event planner, a financial auditor, and a legal representative all at once.

It is entirely normal to feel overwhelmed by this. The most important thing to know is that very few things need to be done immediately. This guide breaks down the logistical hurdles into a manageable timeline so you can take it one step at a time.

Who to Call

When you are ready, the very first logistical step is having the death officially pronounced. Who you call depends on certain circumstances.

If Death Was Expected

There is no medical emergency and no rush to act immediately. We extend a gentle invitation to read the Sacred Pause before taking your next steps.

Read: The Sacred Pause

On Hospice

Call your hospice agency's 24/7 line, there is no need to call 911. A nurse will come to the home to make the official pronouncement.

In a Facility

Notify the nursing or hospital staff. They will handle the legal pronouncement and contact the selected funeral home.

Not on Hospice

Call 911 so paramedics - if you have them, make sure to have the DNR / POLST / MOLST forms on hand, as if they are not present, CPR will be performed - can officially pronounce the death (usually with an EKG and a stethoscope). Then, the custody of the deceased is transferred to the county medical examiner ("coroner") while the police will determine if there is a need for a criminal investigation. If not, the police will sign off on non-criminal death and the coroner will release the body to the family.

If Death Was Unexpected or Accidental

Call 911 immediately. In the case of an accident or sudden passing, emergency services must respond to make the official pronouncement. Also, the police and county medical examiner will usually be involved.

Note: While a sudden loss is different than expected death, the administrative steps that follow are the same. This guide is here to support you through those steps.

Immediate Steps & Practical Tasks

Within the first few days, you will need to decide how to honor your loved one's life. Check their Advance Directives or legal documents to see if they left specific wishes or have pre-paid for arrangements.

  • Call the Funeral Home: Within hours of the death being pronounced and having custody of the deceased, contact a funeral home to transport your loved one. If there are no pre-paid arrangements, or clear choices for what to use for disposition, you will need to make a decision around: cremation, burial, or human composting. Keep in mind that you are entitled by law (see resources below) to a general price list from the funeral home.
  • Notify and Pull in Support: Inform relatives, close friends, clergy, and any other important people in the deceased's life - both to let them know and to pull them in for support for you during this tender time. The phrase "it takes a village" is very apt for the period immediately after a loss.
  • Write an Obituary: A prompt obituary is a great way to honor your loved one and share their life with others. A good format is to include early life details, date of death, and a summary of the deceased's life (things that they were proud of, loved, or accomplished), who they are survived by, and any details about flowers or important causes to donate to in their memory. Here is a helpful resource for examples of obituaries.
  • Plan a Funeral or Memorial: Decide between a traditional funeral, a celebration of life, or a private family gathering. While it might be overwhelming to plan it in the immediate aftermath, holding some sort of ritual can help you and your family accept and process the loss and honor your loved one's memory. Note that there is no requirement to have a service quickly, and many families delay memorials for weeks or months.

Executor Tasks: Settling the Estate

Once the memorial is over, the administrative work of settling the estate begins. This is usually the responsibility of the designated Executor of the estate. While it can feel like a mountain of paperwork, the process generally breaks down into these three core areas.

1. Request Death Certificates

The funeral home or mortuary will usually prepare and file the death certificate. They will ask you how many certified copies you need.

Order more than you think you need. A standard recommendation is to order 10 to 15 certified copies.

Almost every institution will require an original, certified copy (not a photocopy) to process a closure. You will need one for life insurance claims, each bank to close accounts, the probate court, the DMV, the IRS, and to transfer property titles. While you can order more later, it is much easier to get them all upfront.

2. Legal, Financial & Probate Matters

  • Gather Crucial Documents: Locate the Will/Trust, insurance policies, property deeds, vehicle titles, recent account statements, tax returns, and Social Security or Veteran records.
  • Notify Institutions: Contact banks, credit card companies, insurers, Veteran Affairs, Medicare, and the IRS to stop benefit payments or claim benefits.(Note: The mortuary will usually notify Social Security automatically, but if you are a surviving spouse, you should follow up to ask about Spousal Benefits).
  • Handle Probate/Estate: File the will or petition for probate within your state's statutory deadlines. The Executor will need to inventory assets, pay debts and taxes, and then distribute the remaining assets via the court or trust directives.
  • Engage Professionals: Consider hiring a probate or estate attorney, a CPA, and possibly a financial advisor—especially if the estate exceeds ~$50K or involves complex assets like multiple properties or businesses.

3. Digital Estate & Identity Protection

  • Prevent Identity Theft: Notify the credit bureaus and place a "deceased" marker on their credit reports. A helpful shortcut is to request a deceased file from Equifax, which will automatically propagate to the other bureaus.
  • Compile Digital Access: Try to maintain or recover access to their password manager, primary email accounts, phone PIN, and physical safe deposit boxes.
  • Close or Memorialize Online Accounts: Contact email providers and social media platforms to shut them down. These platforms allow you to either close or memorialize the account: Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and X/Twitter.

Emotional Wellbeing & Support

Amidst all the paperwork and phone calls, do not forget to take care of yourself. The logistical burden of loss is heavy.

  • Give yourself grace and patience. You do not have to have all the answers right now.
  • Lean on others. Rely on those you trust for help. Delegate tasks like making phone calls or organizing food.
  • Engage in self-care. Comfort yourself with familiar, grounding routines where possible.
  • Find people you can talk honestly with. Grief is a storytelling process. Whether it is a support group, a therapist, or a close friend, find a safe place to share your experience.

Resource Hub

Funeral & Memorial Planning

  • Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA)

    A nonprofit watchdog protecting a consumer's right to choose a meaningful, dignified, and affordable funeral.

  • The FTC Funeral Rule

    Federal law requires funeral homes to provide transparent, itemized pricing over the phone or in writing before you agree to anything.

Estate & Administrative Navigation

Need help navigating the administrative burden of loss? Let us help you find the right support.

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